maybe another day.

i should write:
God is good and teaching me new things.

i shouldn't write:
it's 2:29 am.

maybe another day.

hatched.

we left early this morning for a day in tulsa, and at our departure, we made sure to slow to a crawl long enough to say farewell to the eggs resting in our driveway. when we returned home we again slowed in order to check on the status of the four killdeer eggs. to our surprise, four tiny birds were resting where the spotted eggs had resided only hours earlier. we made a detour into the yard in order to steer clear of the babies and their protective mother. i went into the house with the intention of getting my camera in order to document this exciting event. when i returned to the gravel nest i was surprised to find it empty. in the few minutes it had taken me to get my camera, the mama bird had moved the babies to a new (and hopefully safer) location. i was quite crushed (like the eggs would have been if i hadn't protected them) -- these birds i had watched so closely and been so protective of had just... well, flown the coop.

a flip-flopped bird might be cute.

the long driveway that leads to my family's home is gravel -- a pleasant trail for rugged tires to venture to and fro; an unpleasant place for flip-flopped feet. the darn rocks are pointy and not exactly inviting where my tender feet are concerned. still, one species other than tires or feet (neither of which are a species per se) has made its home on said gravel... birds.


not just any birds, my friend. i did my research after nearly running over the chirpy creatures on more than one occasion and found that these feisty plovers (one in particular) are ground birds who often nest on gravel. after closer inspection of the overly zealous killdeer, i realized that indeed this mama bird was simply protecting her four speckled eggs.

apparently, her seemingly ridiculous behavior is all a part of her defense mechanism. this particular species, when threatened by tires or flip-flopped feet, runs from her eggs squealing and flailing about as if in pain. these clever birds understand that if a predator were to approach them, they would rather go for an easy kill (i.e. an injured bird) than her camouflaged eggs. why weed through the gravel for a few eggs when you can have a grown bird for little to no effort?

my research left me questioning what exactly the mama birds then do to their prey once they've lured them away from their eggs. my conclusion: their piercing squeal leaves the predator begging for mercy... kind of like my flip-flopped feet after a walk on the treacherous gravel.

an addendum.

an addendum to the post entitled "worth fighting for".

while romantic love is good and an obvious blessing, it's important to not overlook the most important stanza of the song:

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
but demand we give our all

-- warren barfield, "love is not a fight"




John 15
9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

worth fighting for.

my previous post was an alphabetic rendition of my life, something that one might forward in an email and politely demand that the next person fill out. i posted it for lack of a better filler, but today, i'm deleting it. it's ugly and quite boring, and i wouldn't forward it in an email so why should i post it here. but, if you're dying to know if i'm A-ttached or single or if you want to know who my B-est friend is, or whether i like C-ake or pie (you get the picture), i guess you can ask (or simply read old posts seeing as the A, B, and C of my life have already been disclosed -- yep, even the cake or pie conundrum).

the letter R on the previously mentioned alphabetic rendition preceded -eason to smile, to which i responded, love. this brings us to today's post:
scripture makes mention of three types of love: agape, phileo, and eros. i would recommend that you do your research on all three; however, in a broader sense of the word, it seems that there are two distinct types. there's romantic love that often incorporates the somehow daunting, baby-of-a-word "in," displayed in the all too popular phrase, "i'm in love with you." and there's platonic love that is unbiased where gender and attraction are concerned. if you haven't been in love, you've probably at least imagined what it's like. and platonically speaking, i would venture to assume that everyone has loved someone, somehow, in this life. i would also venture to assume that we all love for different reasons.
love within a family is almost a given, something you're born with. it's a love you can't really shake, and why would you want to? it's also a love that i believe you grow into. toddlers say "i love you" simply because it is a conditioned response. then, somewhere along the way, the individual learns what it means to love and be loved, and typically those elements of love hold true within the confines of a family. platonic love.
romantic love is quite different. rather than a given, it is a choice -- we choose who we will love, and we choose to continue loving them once we've discovered their faults. romantic love is difficult because the almost euphoric high many people feel early on in a romantic relationship fades at some point. it is at this point that many people choose to claim they've fallen out of love, when in fact i would argue that the ease with which we interchange the words "in" and "out" negates real love in the first place.
within the last six months i've seen a married couple renew their romantic love for one another because they both chose to put the effort forth, i've seen divorce between the most unlikely of people, i've hurt with a friend over a love lost, and rejoiced with another friend because of a love found. romantic love takes a lot of effort, but i believe with all that i am that it is something worth fighting for.

Love is not a place
to come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
Work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter
in a raging storm
Love is peace
in the middle of a war
If we try to leave
May God send angels to guard the door
No, Love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for

To some love is a word
that they can fall into.
But when they're falling out
keeping that word is hard to do

Love is a shelter
in a raging storm
Love is peace
in the middle of a war
If we try to leave
May God send angels to guard the door
No, Love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
but demand we give our all

Love is a shelter
in a raging storm
Love is peace
in the middle of a war
If we try to leave
May God send angels to guard the door
No, Love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for
-- warren barfield, "love is not a fight"

smells like china.

it has never been my intention to dwell in the past, but sometimes it is really good to just make myself at home in a memory. i love to look through old pictures and read old journal entries. the past is comfortable -- you've conquered it; what is left to fear? still, it's inevitable that i get a little emotional at some stop in the road that is memory lane and that is typically where i'll put the old photos and journals away until the next time i'm feeling nostalgic. lately, though, rather than making myself at home in a memory, it has been the memory making itself at home in me. i can't shake it. it's not a specific memory that reoccurs but a specific place...

it's asia that's haunting me.

honestly, i can't count how many times in the last several weeks that i've thought about my time in asia, specifically china (although experiences in other parts of asia were amazing as well). these thoughts and the feelings that surround them haven't been prompted by anything physical (something i see or touch), although, i must admit that my senses are at work...

life smells like china.

i can't explain it. my life and the things in it aren't necessarily china-esque; still, i have these random moments where i'll think to myself (or say out loud), "that smells like china."

some people have visions, flashbacks, or a photographic memory that takes them back to a specific time or place. for me, i experience smells, and lately i'm not convinced the smells are even real. honestly, how do you recreate the aroma that is so unique to china here in kansas?

i don't know what it is, but i like it. after all, china IS kind of a big deal. ;)

tenth avenue north.

yesterday was really good, the kind of good where if i were a thirteen-year-old girl i would type a long series of o's in order to get my point across.

i spent yesterday in tulsa all by my lonesome, and it was divine. i did a lot of browsing and a little buying at a few favorite stores then proceeded to Barnes and Noble where two and a half hours of my life evaporated. after reading random chapters from several books, i settled on two and then made my way to the stationary section where i found a new journal. i perused several magazines while drinking a chai tea frappuccino for lunch, finally purchased my books, then practically pried myself from the doors of the bookstore. after a few more stops and several "i'm just looking" responses, i reasoned that i was going to have to dine alone... another frappuccino wasn't going to cut it for dinner. the eatery of choice was panera, and i savored every bite. then began the real purpose of this post...

after a short drive and one broken law (i'll explain later), i arrived in jenks at the riverwalk crossing where i met two friends for a free concert. the setting was perfect, the weather was great, and as tenth avenue north took the stage i prayed that my friends and i would take something away from their performance. if you are familiar with any of their songs, you know that their lyrics are powerful, but the words spoken last night, not sung, were what really made the difference.

mike, the lead singer, told of his trip to india where he witnessed children worshiping the Almighty. he said that prior to his trip his impression of those who worship with their arms outstretched was that they were the ones who really had it figured out. they were the holy ones. but, for some reason, he was never one of those physical worshipers. in fact, he said that worshiping around others with their arms outstretched even made him a bit uncomfortable. yet, after witnessing the little children in india, God revealed to him that those who worship with arms outstretched aren't those who have it all figured out. mike came to realize that reaching one's arms towards heaven is reminiscent of children all over the world -- "Daddy, pick me up. i need you to hold me, to take care of me, to make it all okay."

i just love this idea and wanted to share with you. worship how you will, but if you are having one of those "i lost my milk money," "fell on the playground," "didn't get my nap in" kind of days, stretch out your arms. God will rescue you.

as for the broken law i mentioned earlier... don't judge. i simply made my exit when heading into jenks and realized there was a toll. i pulled out a few dollars, not knowing the exact price. as i got closer i saw the sign indicating that i would need to gather up sixty cents, and i needed exact change. i pulled up towards the coin drop, with a line of at least five cars behind me, and scrambled through my ashtray to find sixty cents (primarily in pennies). i deposited the coins only to drop the one quarter i had joyously found seconds before. there it was rolling down the highway behind me. then, with no other option in sight, i decided to cheat the state of oklahoma out of twenty-five cents. i ran the red light and prayed that i wouldn't be arrested for my crime.

hours later i learned that sixty cents wasn't all that oklahoma wanted from me. apparently, they needed thirty more cents when i went to leave jenks. literally penniless and upset at myself for not asking my friends for their spare change, i once more ran the red light that stood between me and the open road. look, there wasn't a single person manning the toll station and getting out of the car to ask for money was not an option. have you heard about the ever-increasing crime rate in the tulsa area?

so, i owe the state of oklahoma fifty-five cents; however, i have a feeling that i'll be getting a ticket for much more in the mail.

three lessons learned, dear reader:
1. always keep a plethora of change in one's possession.
2. stretch out those arms, and acknowledge just how much you need your Heavenly Father.
3. tenth avenue north is pretty great.